Post by EPD SONAR on Jun 25, 2008 14:42:37 GMT 8
Sen. Cayetano: its now the turn of sen lapid to ask witness jun lozada questions.
sen lapid: ha? pass
sen cayetano: di pwede. dapat mag tanong tayo. wag ka nang mahiya, ano ang nasa isip mo ngayon?
sen lapid:ha? eh....kaanu anu mo si kuya ike lozada?
A chinese man goes into a bar to drink. There, he finds himself sitting beside Steven Spielberg, who by that time was ahead by two or three glasses.
After some time, the chinese man notices that Spielberg was staring at him. He turns to the director and was about to say something when he falls flat on the floor - downed by a nasty punch from the director.
Chinese: "Dammit! What the hell was that for?!!!"
Spielberg: "That was for Pearl Harbor. My dad died in that attack."
Chinese: "You idiot! That was the Japanese. I'm Chinese!"
Spielberg: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chinese, Japanese, Burmese, you're all the same."
Spielberg resumes his drinking while the Chinese stands up and dusts himself. Suddenly, he delivers his strongest roundhouse kick at Spielberg, throwing him a good 10 feet away.
Spielberg: "Goddammit, what the hell was that for?!!!"
Chinese: "That was for the Titanic! My grandfather died on that ship!"
Spielberg: "You nincompoop! An iceberg caused the Titanic to sink!!"
Chinese: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, You're all the same."
Divorced father: Anak pag-uwi mo, ibigay mo sa Nanay mo itong tseke at sabihin mo 18 years old ka na, huling theke na makukuha niya for child support, tapos tingnan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
Anak: Mommy, sabi ni Daddy ibigay ko daw sa 'yo itong tseke, last support na niya ito sa akin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tingnan ko raw ang expression ng face mo.
Mommy: Sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya, pakisabi salamat sa suporta kahit 'di mo siya Tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo ang expression ng face niya!
An MMDA traffic enforcer approaches a traffic violator, pen and ticket in hand.
Traffic enforcer: Name?
Foreigner driver: Wilhelm von Corgrinski Papakovitz.
Traffic enforcer: Ahhh... Next time be careful ah...
"tandaan mo anak, angbatang sinungaling ay di na tatangkad, uusli ang ipin, liliit ang binti at tutubuan ng nunal sa mukha"
-diosdado macapacal
a frog went inside malacanang palace. it deeply disturbed GMA bcoz? when the frog croaked, it said. "KORAP KORAP"
sa umpisa ang tawag sa taong walng hiya -makapal
nung lumala ay naging - garapal
ngayon malubha na ---- macapagal
marcos' downfall was due to KBL
Kasalanan ng Babaeng taga Leyte
GMA's downfall is predicted to be due to KAMPI
Kumanta Ang Matalinong Probinsyanong Intsik
PALAKIHAN NG BAHAY
TIKBOY: Grabe ang laki ng bahay ng lolo ko. Pumasok ka ng lunes, biyernes ka na makakalabas!!
PIKOY: Wala yan sa bahay ng lolo ko! Sa lolo ko, pumasok ka ng Enero, April ka na makakalabas!!!
JINGGOY: Naku, ang liliit naman pala ng mga bahay ng mga lolo ninyo! Yung bahay ng lolo ko, pumasok ka ng 2008, ang labas mo 2028 na!!!
"Hindi kami naniniwala sa'yo!!! Saan ba ang bahay ng lolo mo???
JINGGOY: SA MUNTINLUPA !!!
SIGAW
Sigaw ni Marcos: "Mabuhay ang Pilipino"
Sigaw ni Cory: "Laban, Pilipino"
Sigaw ni Ramos: "Sulong, Pilipino"
Sigaw ni Erap: "Casino Pilipino"